Memorial Day

Today I say a prayer for my family who served in the military. I am grateful they came home, but their wounds were quiet.

What MEMORIES do you have of friends or family serving in the military? Did they share their stories, tell you about their experiences? How many people do you know that died during their service?

Have you had the opportunity to talk to them or others about their experiences? Have you had the opportunity to thank them for their service?

The commitment our military pays is not glory or humility, bravery or stoicism. For some it was required and others it is a decision and gift. I am grateful.

I wrote this in 2020:

Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day, it originated in the years following the Civil War and became an official federal holiday in 1971. The Civil War, which ended in the spring of 1865, claimed more lives than any conflict in U.S. history and required the establishment of the country’s first national cemeteries for the 620,000 lost lives. Records show that one of the earliest Memorial Day commemoration was organized by a group of freed slaves in Charleston, South Carolina less than a month after the Confederacy surrendered in 1865.

52 years later, my grandfather fought in WWI in France. He obviously survived, because I am here. But the atrocities he lived… I can’t imagine. World War I saw unprecedented levels of carnage and destruction from new military technologies and trench warfare. By the time the war was over more than 16 million people—soldiers and civilians alike—were dead.

I only know that my grandfather was gassed with mustard gas. And his horse was shot out from under him while en route to bring a message to a general. The fact that he successfully continued on foot amazes me. He never ever spoke of his service to me.

He was never a man of many words other than asking me repeatedly if I could play “Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra, an Irish Lullaby”. His recliner was next to the piano in my grandparents’ home. He would softly sing the chorus when he’d ask, and he’d smile. “No grandpa. I don’t know how.” He asked enough that I told my piano teacher, my aunt, his daughter-in-law, “Grandpa keeps asking me to play this song.” She made a simplified arrangement for me. Based on my writing, I’m guessing I was 9.

I finally went to his house to surprise him and play it. He smiled so big and sang along as I hammered out my abilities. I still muck up my fingering in a few places 40+ years later.

I know he was full of sass, but he didn’t show it to me as a small child. He could fix ANYTHING!!!! And he did for the entire family, all the time. He had a large family. His first wife died after their 3rd child was born. He later remarried and had 7 more children. I have 27 cousins on this side of my family. He had a lot of houses to help keep running! And he worked maintenance in a factory. And his car and his workshop in the basement were always spotless.

The impacts of his experience as a soldier were profound. After his first wife died, he sought medical help. I don’t know any more details than that. But with what I have learned in more recent years, I am confident that his experiences have affected his family profoundly. Some in amazing ways. Many of us are have DIY, self-sufficiency abilities to fix, repair, make things for ourselves and others. He loved children. He was known to come scoop up grandchildren for excursions. Grandpa and Grandma made us ALL Christmas ornaments all year long for YEARS for our Christmas presents. Some in devastating ways. He lost 3 sons way too soon, 1 as an infant and 2 from differing brain tumors. His coping skills and silence didn’t always serve him well.

When I think of Memorial Day this year, I think of my grandfather. I am grateful for his service, his sacrifices, his survival, and ability to continue with his life despite WWI experiences. I think of the complexities of war and how it really impacts the human condition. And I worry about what young soldiers will face in the future. It is not glorious. It is horrific whether canons, bayonets, tanks, fighter jets, bombs, chemicals, nuclear submarines, drones, propaganda, or hackers. And as much as trench warfare and other technologies changed war strategies, I believe that today’s technologies make warfare more invisible, subtle, and cause grave danger to world peace and stability.

During the time frame from WWI, then The Spanish Flu, then the Great Depression, then WWII, Americans and the world suffered greatly. I am not interested in history repeating itself on those levels ever again. Most people today have little connection to what this was really like. We have experienced loss and hardship for sure, but nothing like this time frame.

May you take some time today to reflect on the true impact of war and human life, and may your values show in your daily actions.